Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Still Waiting

Curious as to where things are at?

Due date was July 15th...and guess what?! No baby yet...

Still waiting...

Still wondering...

Trying not to count every second...

Ladies out there that are expecting...my piece of advice...whatever 'due date' you are given. Take it, then add 10 days-THAT is your due date.

If you go early---great! If not, you were 'prepared' for it and it isn't nearly as difficult mentally and emotionally...

Saturday, July 7, 2012

The waiting game...

I go to bed, crossing my fingers I can get some sleep...

Then I wake up and think to myself "darn, I didn't go into labour"...

Every new feeling gets me thinking... "is this going to be it?"

And it's not.

I try to rest in the afternoon (LOVE having hubby home for the summer because I can actually do this)!

I fall asleep saying..."this afternoon would be great, I'd even be rested!"

I wake up feeling no different.

I get through the afternoon activities...everyone watches me...I know what they are thinking, wondering.

Then it's dinner, then it's after dinner...and I am exhausted.

I go to bed, crossig my fingers I can get some sleep...

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

8th Fire-Have you seen it?

Came across this today, watched an episode with my husband and Dad...every Canadian should watch this...

Every Canadian should have a conversation-at the very least with themselves...what are your views on Aboriginal issues?

Do they change after watching this?

Thanks CBC!

Monday, July 2, 2012

On Vacation

Enjoying the sun down island...(not so much my burn) so I may be on/off again this summer-depending on my mood and what family is doing.

Just over 38 weeks pregnant.

Wondering when this little one is going to come. Hopefully sooner rather than later. This was my hope with Jay though...and she was 8 days late.

We'll find I guess!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

STRENGTH



Absolutely no copyright intended...was sent this through Facebook and thought this was an AMAZING photo.

Fun sites

I seem to be doing a lot of pin-ing lately. It's become an addition of sorts...and is totally taking away from what little time I have to blog...thought I would share all the same, 2 sites that I have stumbled upon and LOVE!

Enjoy.

http://www.ikeahackers.net/

http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Women Behind Controversial Military Breastfeeding Photo is Fired from her Civilian Job


If you read my post from before, this topic isn't new to you, but this new information might be...

Woman Behind Controversial Military Breastfeeding Photo is Fired from Her Civilian Job

This popped up in one of my FB Breastfeeding Forums and I couldn't believe it...

Thought I would share, feel free to leave your own thoughts and comments here!

Všechno nejlepší ke Dni otců!

I didn't forget, just no time to post.

I hope all the amazing father's out there had a big shout-out from family (and friends) on Father's Day.

My hubby, he was treated with something extra special this year...him and 3 of his best buddies got to go on a helicopter tour locally-and LOVED it!

It was something he has always wanted to do...and was thrilled (and surprised) when his buddy pulled up to the Helicopter Airfield. Yes, I managed to keep it secret, despite having bought the tickets a month ago!

So to my husband, on behalf of his 1.5 children, we all love you, and are so lucky to have you as our hero!

Všechno nejlepší ke Dni otců!


To my own amazing father...thanks for the love and support you have given me, my entire life. I am always proud to tell people of my amazing Dad (and grandfather of my children). Love you!

Monday, June 18, 2012

When the small town gets you down...

I'm having one of those days...you know...the one where you wake up, wanting to do something  and you realize that, whatever that something is...it's not likely to happen.

Why?

Because you live in a small town.

Now, normally I am fine living in our small town of population 4000...most days I don't think much of it.

This morning though, I wanted to do something with my daughter, something that just involved her and I...

Library-Closed Monday's
Swimming Pool-Closed for the next 6 weeks for annual maintenance
Strong Start-Closed for the summer (and the only indoor playtime available to parents here)
Park-Weather is not very cooperative, and with only one decent park to play at in town, it gets boring after a while.
Beach/Walking trails-Like I said, weather is not very cooperative.
Window Shopping-There is no where to go shopping...

With 4 weeks left to go in my pregnancy, I don't have tons of energy, but I want her to expel as much as possible, and days like these-they are depressing. There's no where to go!

We managed to go out, parked downtown, walked up and down the main street (took all of 20 minutes), stopped in for a treat (counteracted any of the calorie burning I did do) and then walked out onto the dock for a bit before getting rained on.

It's really hard, living in places like these sometimes. It's emotionally draining, feeling so limited, so cooped up.

I just want to do something different.

I am so looking forward to being down island while we wait for this baby...I am eager to be near 'civilization'.

It gets me thinking...how long is it good for us to be here?

Honestly.

There is limited work opportunities for myself.

My hubby's job is very taxing emotionally, mentally...

There is not much available for my children.

Now, I am not trying to knock all small towns, there are great things about being in a small town, and some people LOVE it...and the idea of living in places like Vancouver, Edmonton etc; well that just gets me anxious---too big for me. There is a happy medium though, and that's what I seek.

This small town, I just don't know if I can manage it much longer.

The sad fact, our budget completely dictates where we are able to afford to live. Right now-this is it.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

30 Day Love Challenge-A Bust

Do you think it means anything, that we couldn't manage to finish our 30 Day Love Challenge?


I hope not.

I mean, it's not that we didn't want to. It's not that we didn't try.

We made it about 14 days.

2 weeks really isn't that bad.

Perhaps it's just the idea of blogging about it that made it hard...?!

We did learn one-very important lesson though...that as much fun as the 'idea' of doing a love challenge (and blog about it) is, what it really should be about is more of the love and less of sharing with the world. (For us anyway). We realized, after sitting down and talking about why it didn't work was this...the added pressure of 'having' to do something took away from 'wanting' to do something.

So our attempt was a bust.

It was fun though, while it lasted, and from here on out...we vow to do what we can, to remind each other each day of our love for one another.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Happy Birthday My Husband

He tells me today...

"you know that 29 is a prime number?! I am in my prime!"

Yes my love, you are in your prime.

To me-you will always be in your prime.


It was 6 years ago, that he celebrated his 23rd birthday and him and I had just met. We didn't celebrate it together, I wished him well at work...I was just at the edge of falling for him...I just didn't know it yet.

In 6 years we have grown together in a way that, at the time, I never new was possible. I have watched him grow as an individual, I have watched us grow us a couple, and as parents.


I woke this morning with dreams and wishes for him... 

I hope that for him, all of his dreams come to fruition, even those he doesn't know he yet wants or needs.

I hope that he is reminded everyday of his importance in this world, and in our (mine, his children, his family) lives.

I hope that he forever reaches for the things he aspires to be.

I hope that he wakes everyday content in the person he is.

I wish for him, every happiness, for I know of no one better deserving.


Happy Birthday my husband, my friend, my love, my partner... thank you for sharing the last 6 years with me, and thank you for choosing to spend the next 'until forever' with me.

And a sincerest 'thanks' to your parents, for raising such an amazing son.



Saturday, June 9, 2012

Car Conquest

Well, it's official. We sold our RAV.

It was bittersweet.

We loved our RAV, it was a great vehicle. Oh brother, I feel the wave of mushy emotion come over me...here it goes...

Okay okay.  I know...it's not like it died or anything.

The good news...is that we managed to get another good vehicle. Better then that, we managed to pay down $8500 worth of debt.

Now, an entirely different wave of emotions are coming over me.

It's a feeling of (dare I say it) success!

That's right. We have managed to do something really positive for ourselves in the long run, without sacrificing all that much in the end. So what is $8500 in the long run? It was 15% of our debt. It was 1 year of my bringing in a child for childcare.

So what has become the new 'A to B'? A 2006 Ford Freestar Minivan.

How does my hubby feel about officially being a 'minivan' family? He has taken in really well...and loved it all the more when we had one of our best drives home from the south Island with our daughter.

I hate to break it to you Mini-van-haters out there but if you have a family-there is absolutely 100% a reason why these are the ultimate family vehicles.

They are built for comfort. They are built for convenience.

So we have a small weight taken off of our shoulders...we have a new skip to our step...

and when I have more time I let you in on some neat deets from out buying process...


Monday, June 4, 2012

Breastfeeding 'drama'

Breastfeeding and Controversy, should not be in the same sentence together...

Yet here they are in Military Moms Breastfeeding 'Controversey', an article in Yahoo.

It seems that as of late, breastfeeding is the big hot topic, and pictures, much like this one:

May 21, 2012 Time Cover
http://www.time.com/time/coversearch


have people taking sides to the 'breastfeeding issue'.

When did breastfeeding become such a public issue? We seem to be talking an awful lot about making other people uncomfortable, it being 'ackward'? Or worse yet--when did it become sexualized?

This is definitely one of those things that Europeans have figured out.

This is a 'to each their own' kind of thing. Some women are more comfortable with a cover, and some don't care...Either way we need to be encouraging breastfeeding for the health of both Mom and baby, and supporting the Mom's that aren't able to for whatever reason.

Breastfeeding is normal. It's how, we as a species-survive. To treat it as anything else is ridiculous.

The key-women need to unit with one common goal-the right to breastfeed how it suits each individual.





Friday, June 1, 2012

Canada's First Male Midwife-About Time

Meet Canada’s first male midwife - Health - Macleans.ca

It popped up in my Facebook feed and my first thought was..."it's 2012 and now is the first time we have a graduating male midwife?!"

Okay, so in my opinion, it's taken too long. But better late then never!

I mean after all, if you are not having a midwife, then you are looking at a doctor; and I am guessing that the number of male doctors are probably higher than females. So it's not really a stretch.

For myself, second baby, second midwife-and thrilled about my choice.

I don't plan on having a homebirth, I am most comfortable in a hospital.

So why the midwife at all?

I want constant care, I want someone to be there from beginning to end. I don't want to be stressing when the shift change happens and nurses change (because in most cases, the nurses get you to pushing, the doctors arrive for the 'big show'), I don't want to be hoping that my doctor is in or that he/she doesn't come off a 18 hour shift and decides to pass me off to someone else because they can longer function.
I want the confidence of someone who delivers babies for a living, someone who's goal it is so to have my delivery go as 'naturally' as possible.
I want someone who does haven't a clock on what my body and baby are doing...I want someone who knows that with their support, I am more likely to have a birth outcome that I am happy with then by using drugs and other medical interventions to 'speed the process along'.

The Male/Female thing-to me is irrelevant. If he is good, he is good. End of story.

So welcome to the practice of midwifery, Otis Kryzanauskas!

Thanks for paving the way for other men that are also interested in this field!

Thank you for joining the thousands of Canadian Midwives who have delivered safe and healthy babies into the world!



Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Moving Momz: How good it feels

My girlfriend, with her 2.5 year old and her 4 month old in tow, went for a 15-18km bike ride yesterday (the exact distance difficult to measure).

I was envious.

It seems to be the thing with pregnancy for me. I crave the things that just aren't practical for me at the moment.

So I am living vicariously through her (unfortunately am getting no skinnier for it).

Today though, I was re-energized while take my daughter for a swim.



Why I had I stopped going?

It's not like I took a class, or did laps, but I forgot just how good it feels to get out there and move.

It is so easy, to start something, and then let 'life' get in the way of it all.

I swore I wouldn't do this with my second, and yet, here I am...counting all the things that I am not doing that I promised myself I would do.

STOP!

Stop, stop, stop. Okay, so that isn't helping either. We all know how this goes, then I start feeling crappy about what I am not doing, which leads to more of my not doing stuff in asome sort of pouty defense or tantrum.

Instead, I am going to wake up tomorrow, and do my best. I might not be getting out for a 15km bike ride, but I can still do something...maybe I will pull out one of my workout DVD's if the weather refuses to cooperate...

Do something...remind yourself of how good it feels to just do something.

Wondering how the love challenge is going?
Okay truth be told, we have been hit and miss lately. Mostly hits, but sometimes the day ends and I am lying in bed thinking to myself "whoooppps!"
What's worse, I keep forgetting to jot things down, and trying to remember the little things can be difficult after a long day. For now, let me just tell you that we are doing something even if it's small...and I'll catch you up on a later post.

Tuesday, May 29, 2012

When drugs are okay...

With my first pregnancy, I had to stop taking my prenatals during the first trimester and instead supplement my diet and take extra folic acid.

My second pregnancy has been no different.

Talking to other preggo's apparently that is common...why is it that the one thing doctors recommend every woman take is the one thing that few of us can stomach?

Then there was the diclectin that my nurse practioner subscribed, which was a life-saver since I was head down in the toilet with my toddler running around loose in the house. (Waited to long to ask about something to help with the nausea.)

So here we are, third trimester, and awful heartburn (much like my first pregnancy) and one comment to my nurse practioner had me later doing a happy dance at the result.

Zantac.

I am not a Tums or Gaviscon person, really, taking anything with flavour is just-blech! Plus I was maxing out on dosage and still having issues. So here I am, on day number 3 with the calm of someone without heartburn and all I can think of is...

Why did it take me so long to ask if there was something to help?

Ladies out there, don't down play your preggo struggles. Don't chalk it up to 'I'm pregnant' and that's just 'how it is'. Because...well, as much as it may be true, your quality of life could be vastly improved by an honest conversation with your doctor.

Now I know there are women out there that are concerned about taking anything during their pregnancy, but talk to your doctor, the studies that go behind prescribing medication to pregnant women are extensive. They do not take side effects lightly in these situations.

So give yourself the gift of being able to enjoy your pregnancy!

I wish I had sooner...but at least for now, I am going to bed, as comfortable as I can-all things considered.

Monday, May 28, 2012

Beyond the Crib

Buying our first home before Jay was a year old was a big step. It was also one of the best investments we've made thus far...

I could not wait to get my hands on her room. I had always wanted a really funky room when I was growing up, and so I wanted to make sure that Jay's first room in our first room was perfect. Of course, I was also already pregnant and aware that Jay and baby would be sharing a room, so it would have to be gender neutral enough to get both of them in there-regardless of what the sex was.

I remember doing the finishing touches on this room, on Jay's big girl bed and thinking to myself "hard to believe that in a few months she actually be sleeping in this bed!"



So those months went by a little fast.

It was getting to that point where we needed to start getting her comfortable with the idea of sleeping in her toddler bed instead of the crib.

I think she was ready, my hubby was ready...and me? Well, truth be told, I found it really hard. I knew that she was going to be totally fine...but it was hard making the switch because it was one big way of letting go of the last little 'baby' thing and welcoming the world of toddlers.

I am in no rush for my daughter to grow up too fast. With baby #2 and her being so close, I am also conscience of not wanting her to be 'pushed' to grow up before she is ready. 

She'll never go back to the crib now-it has been a week and she loves her big girl bed. I'm also okay now too. I'm well aware that holding your child back hinders rather than helps...

This post is to all those Mom's and Dad's out there that have struggled with the little ways that remind us that our babies just aren't 'babies' anymore...I totally get it, and I am here to tell you, that it's going to be okay.

It's also totally okay to have a hard time with it, as long as you don't let that take away from the positives of the situation.

We are beyond the crib, just as we were beyond the boob, and one day we will be beyond the diapers...I wonder if I will be upset over that one? 



Sunday, May 27, 2012

Day 11 of the 30 Day Love Challenge

It was one of the first things to go when Jay was born...one person cooked and the other was left to tend the little one.

So it's fitting that during our challenge here we (attempt) to do some cooking together.

Now I say attempt because we still have a daughter that needs our attention. So it wasn't the a scene out of a movie where we shared a glass of wine, flirted shamelessly as the meal teeters on the edge of burning (of course saved in the nick of time). Instead it was Jay, strapped to Daddy's back while we created our very first Quiche...and there was no wine-I am 7 weeks shy of baby #2 being born-it hardly seems appropriate.





It was, however, perfect in it's own little way. Sometimes it is about doing the things that used to be commonplace before life changed to remind you of why you are with your significant other.

It was one of the things that made me fall in love with my husband and the possibility of 'us', our ability to be so in sync, to work so well with each other  was and is such an amazing feeling. I don't think that you have to everything in common with your spouse, but I do think that you need to be able to get onto common ground to be able to muddle through the tough stuff in life. You need to be able to walk together in your life journey, otherwise you end up walking a part.

Working together in the kitchen this evening though, it wasn't about the tough stuff, it was just about being able to enjoy and share each other's space, to work alongside something...to create something new.

By the way...the quiche was quite tasty for a first attempt!


So I challenge you readers out there...find that thing that you 'used to do' before 'life' happened faster-harder then it used to, and give it a chance to rekindle your own love.

Saturday, May 26, 2012

Get out of my yard-yipes!

I'll make this short and sweet, but I had to share this...

Sometimes it can save your life, being less reactive, taking a moment...

I was all ready to go with my daughter, out the door, off to do some shopping.

As I was turning off the TV, I spotted out the corner of my eye, what I thought was a dog that has been left 'loose' around our neighbourhood. To my annoyance, he was in between mine and my neighbours house, sure to leave a 'present' where my daughter would later be walking. YUCK!

I thought about running out the front door and shooing it out out of yard. Instead, partial laziness I suppose, and wanting to be sure that I was able to 'give it what for' (as if it is really the dogs fault that it has free reign over our neighbourhood) I decided to take a few steps, throw up the blinds and give it what for.

Boy was I surprised to see a black bear swing its head up at me and give me a "what's your problem?" look.

YIPES!

This was followed by instant panic, 'did I leave the front door open?' was my first thought because if so...my daughter was surely up the walkway already.

Luckily this was not the case, and the next 15 minutes was spent calling the conservation officer, and making sure my girlfriend (and neighbour) didn't leave her house without extreme caution.

We did make it out shopping, after some time to allow the bear to head back from where it came...and I am certainly on guard since then, keeping me momma-instincts sharp.

It's funny now, but I do wonder...what would have been that bear's reaction had I come barreling out of the house in a huff?

Day 8-A massage really can build a bridge of satisfaction. There is nothing better than taking a moment to just "ahhh" and be the one to give, and be given a break, a moment to just enjoy the moment.

Day 9-It's one of my favorite things, and one he rarely does, but I love having company while soaking in the tub. It's nice to be able to just enjoy talking to each other without being steam rolled by a 16 monnth old. A massage was returned to my happy hubby (though I am running out of new places to massage quickly :P )

Day 10-Date Day-thanks to our good friends. Loved going out to have coffee and walk around town-just the two of us.

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Car Conundrum...and catching up

Okay, it's been a while. For good reason...it started out with a trip down island...

If you read my Dollar$ and $en$e: Car Complex post you will remember the place that we were in with our Rav4. In short, it's a luxury vehicle...a luxury for us that we just can't afford with the amount of debt we carry. So we made a plan. Sell our dream vehicle, put half of what we get for it on debt, and the other on a new-used vehicle with less 'bells-and-whistles'.

May long weekend was key for us. We were going down island to get our vehicle's airbag sensor reset (or so we thought), visit family, enjoy a break and sell our beauty; without getting into major details, the situation was such that from a previous appointment, we were expecting a quick reset, nothing else.

While we waited we even went and checked out used cars. Even found one we liked.

Then the appointment was starting to run over an hour.

Then it was running over 2 hours.

What they thought was the problem, and what the problem actually was...was two very different things.

How different?

About $1100 difference. That's right, we were quoted, when all said and done, $1200 for what it was going to take to fix it--and it's going to take 2 weeks. Oh yeah, and it's not safe to drive the vehicle the way it is with a passenger in the front seat-never mind sell. We'd never be able to live with ourselves, selling our vehicle with that kind of risk.

Panic. Frustration. AHHHHHHHH

Why is it that every time we seem to be getting ourselves together we just get pushed back down?


This, by the way, is the exact reason why we made the decision to sell the vehicle in the first place. We don't have that kind of money burning a hole in our pocket-so where does it go? That's right-CREDIT!

BAH.

So we did the only sensible thing we could do, knowing that we have to travel down once more to pick up our vehicle and return the loaner...

We drove home. Upset to say the least.

It was a bit of a breaking point for us. We were counting on that weekend to be a turn around, and so far it wasn't looking so good.

We were determined though, to get what we needed out of the weekend, even with everything stacked against us.

Step 1: Take a break. We are super busy with friends, work, outside commitments (volunteer and otherwise), add in a very active 16 month old, time for each other...never mind time for ourselves...there isn't much left at the end of a day. So we called a timeout. Desperate to regain our sanity. Desperate to regain each other.

Step 2: Don't entirely give in...we decided that we had to stay committed to our goal, despite this unfortunate set back We have to be very realistic about what we need, as opposed to what we would like. We managed to set out a plan, that took our original 'paying-back-the-debt' plan from 5 years, to 3.5 years (less if a few things work out in our favour-but we've learned not to 'bank on it' until the monies are, well, in the bank!)

It turned out to be not an entirely awful weekend. I managed to get some nice time in with the family. Jay and her Daddy got some much needed Daddy-daughter time. I was able to write 80% of a novel I have been working on...the plot line is there, in need of desperate editing and more detail...but my sore wrists and fingers were thrilled.

Oh yes, and we have an amazing family who supports us in ways that we can't even begin to express enough gratitude for, that really made our weekend have a glimmer of hope.

So, the weekend has rejuvenated us...for the most part...we are still disappointed, but as determined as ever to change our financial future.
I had an interview today for a work-from-home Literacy Coordinator position; of course I am really hoping that it's something that I get, the hours and time commitment are perfect for what I am able to give, and will grow as I am able to give more. Even if I don't though, just interviewing made me feel like I truly was doing what I needed to, to turn things around.

That's an empowering feeling.

So that's where we are at...for now...really crossing my fingers that things just keeping moving forward, I don't know that I can take another hit like this past weekend.

So frustration is slowly turning to a feeling of hope once more. It will feel so good though, to get over this hurdle...

Wondering how the Love Challenge is going?

Day Three: I left a few love notes up the stairs for my hubby-which he kept in his bathroom for a few days as a reminder. He had the same idea and decorated the chalkboard for me with a cute note! Great minds think alike.

Day Four: Breakfast and lunch in bed---I was so spoiled. And guilty of not really doing anything special-definitely need to make up for that...I was very cranky, poor hubby. I think he deserves a medal don't you?

Day Five: Again, more spoilage for me, my hubby brushed my hair-which is one of my all time favorite pamper moments...especially since I am growing my hair out-especially for him. After the day before, I made sure to return the favour for his favourite pampering moment...head and ear massage.

Day Six: Dropped off a little snack for my hubby during work, a quick reminder that I am thinking of him. Later that night he indulged my pregnancy needs and walked down with our daughter to the grocery store for some chocolate! What woman doesn't love that??

Day Seven: A neck rub for me, a simultaneous foot rub for him. Nice to snuggle up to a show and just be with each other.


So it's been a week...and has it done anything for us?

Considering the weekend we had-it was amazing that what it didn't manage to do is turn us against each other. Which is so easy to do when life gets stressful, most people find their spouses take a lashing when life gets tough. I would certainly say that making a point of doing something 'nice', 'sweet' or 'romantic' has put us more in touch with each other, a good reminder that when our backs are up against the wall...it's "us"...together.

Hubby's thoughts: "I really like it. It makes me think of what you like a lot more, makes me feel like I have a mission, you know."

Spoken like a true Bond-man-don't ya think ;)




Friday, May 18, 2012

For those of you with 2 kids+...

You know how with the first pregnancy you could tell people exactly how far a long you were?

People would ask "how much longer" and your response was something a long the lines of "9 weeks, 4 days-give or take a few hours" as if those few hours are really the deciding factor in your childs appearance into the world.

No, I'm not making fun, I was the exact same way.

With my daughter (though we didn't know it was her at the time), her bedroom was done (and re-done because I was having major nesting issues) well before I was 5 months along. My hospital bag was also packed around 6 months 'just in case'. I had filled out all my paperwork and was 'good to go' before 9 months. I was prepared!

Now I'm about 31-almost 32 weeks pregnant...I haven't got the hospital bag ready, the babies room is about half way there...

With a short trip here planned for the long weekend I definitely feel a little guilty, and more than a little unprepared should the unexpected happen.

I feel comforted though by the fact that my good friend and seasoned Mom of a 2 year old and 3.5 month old was totally where I am at right now not that long ago-and she has done a-okay.

Though her encouragment to get it done and not procrastinate will lead to me getting it done this evening...as long as something else doesn't come up...

30 Day Love Challenge update:

Day One-Hubby fixed my jogging stroller and made me a lovely chalk drawing-so cute, sweet and simple. I left him notes up the stairs. Funny how just making a point of doing something actually had us talking about more than how to survive the next day and how we barely made it through the current one before bed.
Day Two-We played 'Truth or Dare'. It was so much fun, I realized at one point that I don't think I'd laughed as hard as I did in a long time. It's hard to ask 'truths' because after 6 years, there is so much that you do know about each other, it can be tough to get creative. It's not very often that we just play around and be 'goofy'--so nice!


Wednesday, May 16, 2012

60 Days left, 30 day Love Challenge

I jumped on an electronic countdown this morning to see how much longer I had until the projected due date for Chickpea.

60 Days.

60 DAYS!!!

Now, we all know that 60 days doesn't mean anything, Jay was 8 days late. Really, any time between 40-80 days is fair game.

However, 60 days-yikes! I have so much to do in that time!

Now those of you that have braved the 2nd+ child frontier before us know that as that time ticks closer, it's another reminder of one (extremely important) thing, already shrunken in size, that will practically disappear altogether once the next one arrives.

I'm talking about quality couple time.

The reality is, its one of the things both of us feel like we lack on a regular basis, and can often lead to an argument over 'who-tries-harder-to-get-time-together'. With usually only about 1-2 hours of down time, where Jay is sleeping,  we are too exhausted to make anything meaningful out of it. Plus, we often divy that time up to 'I-need-space-to-myself' time.

Then I happened to see this on Pinterest-
29 Days to Great Sex Day 10: 16 Ways to Flirt with Your Husband
and it got me thinking... I rarely make a point of flirting with my hubby. After almost 6 years together, we've gotten lazy. I know that he loves me, he knows that I love him...but we really haven't worked on that part of relationship all that much.

Now don't get me wrong, the best part about being married is not being in on the dating scene and knowing instead that you have a partner for life. So, it not being a constant flirt-fest is not awful.

But I still am a firm believer in keeping the heat in a relationship! I love my husband, I'm attracted to my husband...and I want him to know that!

We need something to boost our love life (and no, I  am not just talking about sex). We need to find time, do something meaningful for each other, and overall, just remind ourselves about why we are building a family to begin with.

So we are going to do a 30 day love challenge. In many ways, this can be totally taken as cheesy. I realize this. Can't I just find time to do something nice, spend more time with him-without making a big spectacle about it?

Well sure.

However, we know we aren't the only ones having these struggles, and so we want to share our journey of 30 days to a better 'us'.



30 Day Love Challenge:

Each day we must carve out time to do something nice for each other. It doesn't have to be a full out date, flowers and a movie type of thing. It just has to be something nice for each other...a flirtatious gesture of sorts.

Rules:

Repeats don't count--though welcome in combination!
Cannot be a 'tit-for-tat' gesture. (ex. a massage that day does not equate the expectation of a massage from the other that day...I think we can all agree that what we are able to give varies on the day/stress level etc;...it's above giving what we can to the other. Without strings, without 'doing-one-better-than the other'.)

I challenge you and your significant other to give it a try too. We'll let you know what things worked, and what things didn't (if any) and what the result is (so keep checking back). We hope though, that this inspires you to focus on your relationship as well!

Have some good ideas for flirting/date ideas/nice things to do?...Or want to share your own story?Share it here!


Tuesday, May 15, 2012

It's one of the best parts about being a parent.

When it's not your kid, you have to give them back at some point... (okay, I realize that sometimes that can be a good thing).

When it is your kid, you have full permission to wrap them in your arms and cuddle them as long as, well, as long as they'll lay there with you.

Yesterday I was laying on the couch watching Horton Hears a Who and the next thing I new, both my daughter and I were dozing.

A small little pool of drool was collecting on my chest and I could smell her sleepy dragon breath-it was bliss. (I'll have you know, it was her drool, not mine!)

One day she isn't going to want to cuddle up to her Mommy and she certainly won't fall asleep in my arms like she did just then.

I took it all in, locking that moment in my memory.

Take time to cuddle today. Regardless of the things that 'have' to be done, take time to soak in the moments that you can't get back. Laundry, there will always be laundry...and dishes, and vacuuming, gardening and dusting. Our children though...they ever-changing.

Take time.

Cuddle.

Monday, May 14, 2012

No one likes to be sick...it can make an every day, normal day, a drudgery.

The only thing worse?

Being sick and pregnant.

Oh yeah...being sick and pregnant, and without a hubby for 50 hours, that's a real treat.

It was a good weekend for my hubby who was out at a Rangers Training Camping (for the Juniors). It was good weather because of the weather...but it has gone down hill, slowly but surely as the hours tick by.

Now he has returned to work. The weather, still gorgeous. My daughter even seems to be on the mend.

Not I. It gives me a moment of thankful reflection. After 50 hours away from him, all I can say, is power to those single parents who do it without their spouses. 50 hours was an eternity, having him return to work was pained...and yet, he did come home today. For some parents out there, there is on one to tag team with.

I applaud you...

...as I crawl under the blankie with a cup of tea and try to rest while they are out grocery shopping.



Thursday, May 10, 2012

Teething...

...it sucks.

You know what I mean.

Running nose, drooling child, hard to keep them content...

Sleepless nights *yawn*

It's hard to say who it's worse for.

My child, who doesn't understand why it hurts, can't explain anything to me, and doesn't understand why I am not making it better.

Or...

Me, who, despite the tylenol, teething ringing, frozen yogurt and tons of cuddles, still has to watch my baby girl in pain.

She'll forget. I won't.

Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Dollar$ and $en$e: Car Complex

This was our first beauty...


In a way it was the best vehicle we ever owned. Now let me be clear, it had a TON of problems. The back windshield wouldn't roll back up without a ridiculous amount of work, the emergency break was broken, the heater was broken, it was super noisy inside, it had no power and you were lucky to get it past 60 km/h up a hill...and if you have ever owned a Toyota, you know-it was rusting!

BUT

It was completely paid for. It was my then-boyfriend-now-hubby's first vehicle and was part of our story, it got me from Grande Prairie to Prince George to be with him. Up and down the province to visit family...was my husband's first ever 'car accident'. (He came to Grande Prairie to visit me, and his opening line after driving the 6 hours was "do I smell like dead dear?") It was a great vehicle.

Then we moved to Alberta.

Here is where we started making BIG mistakes.

When you move provinces you have to get your vehicle inspected. Surprise! Your vehicle needs 5K worth of work, oh yeah, and it's worth about $500-800.

Uhhh...

Well, we always wanted a RAV4, but, I was thinking of going back to work in the fall, and hubby's job was seasonal and he hadn't found any work teaching yet so the price tag was too big. So we decided to lease a brand new Matrix. (BTW: this pic isn't our car, but it is exactly what it looked like)


BAD IDEA.

First off, we could 'just' afford the payment on it. Second, we didn't do any research and make a quick emotional decision based on something that we liked. Plus, let's be honest. It's pretty nice to show up and say "check out my new car!" Third (had we done the research we may have realized this), getting a brand new vehicle is the worst way to spend your investment. I'm sorry-it's just not an investment. Once you drive it off the lot, if you were to turn around and sell it right back-the depreciated value would be shocking! Fourth, we bought the car with this idea that if "you are going to buy, you are definitely going to buy up", the details were a little fuzzy on the 'up' part.

Now don't get us wrong. It was a great car-it was a lot more quiet than our 4Runner, had some nice bells and whistles. Cheaper on fuel... It was our common ground between now best friends and Godparents of our daughter. We had some great road trips in it...

Fast forward about 2 years and surprise-we are pregnant!

Suddenly we were thinking..."geez, you know, our vehicle isn't an asset" (duh), "there isn't much room for kids", "if we ever got into an accident with it with our new baby, it wouldn't hold up very well".

Then our dream car happened to be at dealership when we had gone in for a maintenance check.


Yeah, we bought it.

This time it was used (2.5 years old), and this time we bought it (instead of leasing). There was the small matter of it being more expensive then our RAV, and the fact that we would have to factor in the costs of our leasing mistake into our new vehicle...

BUT, I mean come on. It was our dream car. Leather interior, heated seats, bells and whistles that we could 'afford' as compared to a new RAV which we couldn't even dream of getting if we bought new. It was going to be safer. It was going to be a better family vehicle.

It was our DREAM CAR!

Okay. So now here we are, it's about 17 months later and we are having buyers remorse.

No no, we love our RAV. It's just here's the thing...We have just under 57K in debt. We (and what I really mean is me, since my hubby walks to work) only use the vehicle to drive to the grocery store which is 1.5km away (I know-should be walking more often), and then about 1/2 dozen times down island or to visit family.

If we hadn't rolled the amount owing on our credit line, we'd be paying $600/month for that?!

So here is where we get serious.

Our vehicle costs a lot of moola.

It doesn't meet all of our needs because we do not have enough space for 3 carseats (and yes, I may stop at 2 kids, but 3 is my magic number), and when I take on daycare kids, I am not able to transport them anywhere, not to the library, or to strongstart...

Oh yeah, and our vehicle cost a lot of moola and we have 57K of debt.

So we talk about what kind of vehicle makes sense for us, and *cringe* a minivan suits 99% of our needs...luckily so does a surburban if we can find the right kind for the right price. Neither are my favorite looking vehicle. But let's get serious, we made the 'dream-car-stroke-my-ego' vehicle choice, and that didn't work for us.

Okay. Now let's talk price.

Our beauty-she's worth about 20-22K. (No, that's not really close to what we owe on it...)

What we'd like to do. Get something around the 6-10K range, and then put the rest of our moola back on our credit line and PAY THAT SUCKER DOWN!

It's hard though. I mean, we were moving up in the world. Or were we?

The truth is, we don't have the luxury of sitting on an expensive vehicle. So-do we sell our vehicle?

Can we swallow our pride and make the decision to get a safe, reliable and cheap vehicle to meet our needs?

Makes sense doesn't it.

Damn.

We're having a car complex.



Monday, May 7, 2012

Operation Meat vs. Veggie-RECAP

Okay, so the whole point of doing the Meat vs. Veggie thing was this...

1. to see if my hubby could handle it :P
2. to see if it is more cost effective to eat meatless more often

Evening 1: Brussel Sprout and Mushroom Fettuccine

Total for 3 people was $11.45 (or $3.82 a person).
Savings of $5.00 (or $1.67 a person)

Hubby-liked
Me-liked
Jay-major dislike

Overall Verdict: Will make again, but have back up plan for Jay.

Evening 2: Enchilada Evening

Total for 4 people $11.81 (or $2.95 a person)
Savings of $5.00 (or $1.67 a person)

Hubby-liked
Me-liked (despite how it looked)
Jay-liked

Overall Verdict: make again, with some recipe tweaking.

Evening 3: Night off (Frozen Pizza)

Total for 2.5 people $8.99 (or $3.60)
Savings $0.00


Evening 4: Spaghetti and Beanball Brilliance

Total for 5 people $9.74 (or $1.95 a person)
Savings of $1.97 or $0.39

Hubby-loved
Me-loved
Jay-loved
Friends-liked it

Overall Verdict: Make it again-we LOVED IT!

Evening 5: Perogie Prerogative

Total for 2 people $3.32 (or $1.66 a person)
Savings of $5.00 (or $2.50 a person)

Nothing special but I LOVED it!

Evening 6: (meat) Cabbage Rolls

Total for 6 people $19.02 (or $3.17 a person)

Major hit-LOVE LOVE LOVE.

Evening 7: Mac and Cheese From Scratch

Total for 4.5 people was $7.98 (or $1.77 a person)
Savings of $5.00 (or $1.11 a person)

Tasty meal, which is one of our regular, "If we are gonna skip meat, this is the meal to do it..."

_______________________________________


Cost for a week of dinners: $72.31
The great thing about the price of this weeks dinners was that 2 of the nights we were able to have our friends over to enjoy it with us! That's always a win in my book.
Also, that's the equivalent of eating out 3.6 time in a week at a fast food place in town... 
Savings: $21.97
If we were to make this habit, and have 2 meat dishes on average a week, we'd save $1142.44 a YEAR!

Cheapest Meal of the Week (per serving)--> Perogies
Most Expensive Meal of the Week (per serving)--> Brussel Sprout and Mushroom Fettuccine
Best Meal of the Week (Hubby's Choice)--> (No brainer) he loved the cabbage rolls, but he said if he was going for one of the meatless dishes, the Brussel Sprout and Mushroom Fettuccine was really great.
Best Meal of the Week (My Choice)--> Brussel Sprout and Mushroom Fettuccine (I know-shocking, but it was new!)
Best Meal of the Week (Jay's Choice)--> Spaghetti and Beanball

--Just a thought--
Have you ever thought about this...if 2 people eat out at Subway or A&W (or equivalent), every night (I know, I know, who really does that) it would work out to somewhere between $140-$175 a week. That doesn't even include lunch and breakfast---YIKES!



Operation Meat vs. Veggie: Final Night

Well despite my plans for a fabulous last dinner of Rice Hoppin' John to close out the week, truthfully, I was just too tired.

Hubby was at Rangers all day, and daughter was in major teething pain...

So hubby took over the cooking yesterday...and he made my second favorite meal (after perogies) Mac and Cheese from scratch!

What it cost us:

2/5 of a block of cheese: $4.80
Flour/Butter/Seasoning: $1.00
Macaroni Noodles: $1.48
Wild Mushrooms: Free (picked them last fall)
2 cups of Frozen Peas: $0.70
_____________________________________________
Total for 4.5 people is $7.98 or $1.77 a person!

Had I added chicken or beef to this recipe, it would have added around $5.00 to the total cost or: $1.11 a person.

Verdict:

Full bellies, smiles on our faces...

Now it's time to come clean to my man about what was going on this week!

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Operation Meat vs. Veggie: (meat) Cabbage Rolls

Okay, okay, I'm preggers and craving meat. So instead of doing a tofu (cooked in beef broth) cabbage roll casserole, I actually just opted for some ground beef. Here it is!



However, I'll have you know that up on the North Island, tofu is expensive...and so it completely evens out.

I know though, its not nearly as fun as seeing what hubby thinks.

Instead however we cooked this meal together, which we rarely do, and I would cook anything if it means that we are cooking together.

So what did our MONSTROUS Cabbage Roll Casserole cost us?

Head of Cabbage (smaller): $1.42
Meat or Tofu (aprox.): $5.00
1/2 onion: $0.26
3/4 pkg Broth: $5.24
Rice: $0.53
3 cans of tomato sauce/stewed tomatoes: $6.57
_________________________________________

Okay, the numbers look like a lot, BUT, I made enough for 6 people easily (leftovers-yum yum). This comes out to $19.02 or $3.17 a serving.

You can check out the recipe I used here.

So what did everyone think?

Hubby loved it. Jay didn't want to try it, and so we gave her the last bit of spaghetti leftover from the other night. I thought it was almost as good as Nana's-which means it was good!

So tomorrow ends my Meat vs. Veggie Operation, and yes, I will be cooking a veggie dinner to end out the week...5 out of 7 veggie dinners for a 0-1 out of 7 family on a typical week is pretty good. So check out how tomorrows dinner goes. Then on Monday-I'll recap!

Friday, May 4, 2012

Operation Meat vs. Veggie: Perogie Prerogative

It was hardly a swanky new recipe.

In fact, it's one of the very few meatless dinner we make on a consistent basis.

It also happens to be probably my favorite meal to eat.

Perogies!

I mean honestly, you really can eat then for every meal. Breakfast time you can fry it up in the pan, add a little onion, some more cheese-yum. Then lunch, just a nice boil, add some veggies on the side and more cheese-terrific. Then of course dinner-bake in a casserole dish with mushrooms, asparagus or broccoli and (how could I forget) more cheese!

I'm drooling just thinking about it. And my Momma Jules is rolling her eyes as she reads it.

She's now just called down to my Dad to tell him what I posted. And he is probably chuckling to himself...

So I am a bit predictable...


Cost of meal:

1/3 bag of perogies: $2.33
4 tbsps of sourcream: $.73
1/2 onion: $.26
______________________________

Total cost to feed 2 people: $3.32, that's just $1,66 each!

Now, if I was to add some meat in the mix, maybe some sausages or something, that would work out to be about $8.32 or $4.16 per person.

I did feed my child by the way-more spaghetti from last night...she really enjoys it!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Operation Meat vs. Veggie: Spaghetti and Beanball Brilliance

Okay, so it's no surprise but he knows that this is an experimental week. He keeps saying things like, "do I need to take meat out of the fridge?" and apparently "I have it covered" is no longer sly enough.
He's promised not to read my blog though, so I am having fun being a dork and making it out to be some big surprise each time I begin cooking.

We had our friends and neighbours over tonight, and it was Spaghetti and Beanballs for dinner. Luckily, they eat a lot more meals sans meat, so this was hardly a stretch for them.

So the recipe that I got was from Veganomicon, which I borrowed from a friend. (Pg 189 if you are interested and have a copy...)

So what did it cost?

Kidney Beans: 28oz can/$2.83
Spices:  ~$1.00
Red Onion: 1/2 onion/$0.54
Pasta Noodles: 1/2 pkg/$1.48
Tomato Sauce: 2 cans/$3.89

Garlic Bread (friends brought)
_____________________________________

To feed 5 people, it came out to $9.74, or $1.95 per serving!

What it would have cost, had I made it with meat instead of kidney beans... around $11.71 or $2.34 per serving...making a difference of $0.39 a serving.

How did the cooking go?

Trying new recipes is always hit and miss...next time I will add more bread crumbs and pan fry on lower heat for longer (because kidney beanballs burn quickly if not attended too-thankfully easily saved). Also, I found they break apart fairly easily, so I would make the sauce separately and pour over once the ingredients have had time to cook, stirring is not really an option. If you don't have the book you can follow the recipe more or less from here. I did do the lemon zest because-yum! I also added onion.

What was the verdict?

Jay was thrilled and chowed it down like no ones business! Which really, in itself is reason enough to make again.

Our neighbours liked it-woohoo.

I really enjoyed it.
Hubby...?

I'm not sure what this says about what my normal spaghetti tastes like but apparently "it's the best spaghetti (I've) ever made!"

So I am doing a bit of a happy dance, and at the same time thinking..."crap-what's wrong with my regular spaghetti?"

Not sure which recipe I'm trying tomorrow, stay tuned will ya!




Wednesday, May 2, 2012

Operation Meat vs. Veggie-Night Off

The stove is preheating.

However there will be no 'experimental' veggie dinner tonight.

Pregnancy hit me like a ton of bricks today and I feel as tired and as nausea's as I did the first trimester. (Which means I saw the bottom of bathroom throne more than I care to in one day.)

So it's frozen pizza night, and it's frozen canadian pizza dinner-which means it's definitely going to have meat on it. We'll be back on for tomorrow night, I'll keep ya posted.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

Operation Meat vs. Veggie: Enchilada Evening

I have never made enchilada's before...so I guess I get props for that right?

I know how it was supposed to look...and it certainly didn't turn out that way-it was sloppy-but it tasted really good. I guess that is what matters. I think that had I not been the one to make it, I probably would have been turned off by it's throw-up look.

Luckily, my hubby was not at all bothered by the way it looked because he called it "awesome" WOOHOO!


Thank goodness, I was a little nervous since, as I slid it into the oven, he said "another meatless dish hey?" I think he knows something is up...
Okay, so cost breakdown, here it goes...

Tortilla's: 1/2 pkg/$1.50
Cheese: 1/5 of the block/$2.40
Beans (kidney): $2.83
Beans (pinto): $2.99
Onion: $0.51
Sour Cream 1/5 of the tub/$0.58
Spices: est. $1.00
______________________________

Total for 4 people: $11.81 Which works out to $2.95 a person!

So if I would have included a layer of meat, it would have added about $5.00 to the meal, which would then work out to about $4.20 a person. Okay so not a huge difference, but worth noting.

Where did I get my recipe?  Well, I found this recipe from EatingWell and followed it more less...I did add some kidney beans to the mix and I switched out 2 tbsps of yogurt for sourcream since I would have totally forgot about the yogurt in the fridge afterwards. Little tip, bake with the lid off, I think that would have helped the enchilada stick together more.

Will definitely be trying this recipe again.

Oh yeah...and Jay? you ask. Well she's still napping and hasn't yet tried it, but I am not holding my breath.

Later that evening...

You aren't going to believe this...in fact, I can hardly believe it myself. She ate it. She liked it. She wanted MORE!
I am so excited, she could care less how it looks, I think the very fact that it came in the form that it did was why she ate it!
My daughter, picky eater, texture concious girl, she ate it-and liked it. This officially just because the best recipe that I have tried in the last few months!


Monday, April 30, 2012

Operation Meat vs. Veggie: First Night-Four Stars

Okay...so tonight I made the Brussel Sprout & Mushroom Alfredo Fettuccine...

Just as I finished cooking it up, and started serving my hubby commented, "So it's a veggie dish then hey?"

I cracked up laughing...okay, so this dish is not going to pull the wool over his eyes. Fair enough.

So despite the fact that it was meatless, he said during the meal " the combo of brussel sprouts and mushroom is actually quite good". YES! That's right-he liked the brussel sprouts. Okay, in all fairness it's not that he hates them to begin with, he just doesn't love them the way I do, and wouldn't choose them.

Then, with a few mouth fulls to go, and a few extra servings sitting in the pan, he sat back and said "wow-I'm actually really full, I'll just finish up the veggies here".

A full man is a happy man.

Final verdict on this new recipe, he says "I'd like to see you make this again."

Cost breakdown...

Mushrooms: .385kg/$2.95
Brussel Sprouts: .255kg/$1.12
Fettuccine Noodles: $2.89
Alfredo Sauce: $4.49

Total for aprox. 3 people--> $11.45  That's just $3.82 a person!

Whoooaaa, okay I am actually shocked at that.

What I could have done better...I actually bought the sauce instead of making it, hard to believe that meal could be cheaper, but it definitely could have had I done that.

What it would have cost with meat--> ~$16.45 or $5.48 a person.

So not a huge savings, but considering everything--I think we'll definitely being doing it again.

The only bummer, Jayna didn't like it, at all...not even pureed. Go figure.

So overall, I'd call that a 4 star dinner!

My recipe (and to be fair-I do a lot of eyeballing, so you'll have to give it your best shot) or find a recipe online-remember, I didn't make the sauce from scratch, but after checking recipes later-it's super easy to do.

Cook up the pasta, while that is going you can start to cut the brussel sprouts into thin slices, add to a hot pan with about a cup of water and let cook up for about 3-5minutes. Then drain water and add about 2 tbsps of butter and sliced mushrooms. Season as necessary. Because I chose a garlic alfredo I just added salt and pepper. When the mushrooms are brown and brussels cooked add in the sauce and turn the temperature down to low, let simmer while the pasta finishes. If you have some fresh herbs-some fresh parsley would be a fabulous touch!





Meat vs. Veggie

Most weeks it's a rarity to have 1 meal that is vegetarian.

Okay, actually, over the course of a month it's rare to have as many as 3 vegetarian meals.

It's not that I am a big meat person...in fact, I could do without, but my hubby on the other hand...well, he is a meat eater.

He even eats liver paste (ew!).

This week though, I am going to throw his stomach for a loop, I just finished up the weekly meal plan and guess what, there is 1...that's right, I said it, 1 MEAT DISH!

Ssshhh...don't tell. (Now watch, this will be the one post that my hubby decides to actually read.)

That's right, this week my meal plan consists of: Bean Enchilada's, Fettuccine with mushrooms (and brussel sprouts-double SHHH), Spaghetti and beanballs, and this Rice Hoppin' John recipes (thanks google, I think?!)...the one star meat dish this week Casserole Cabbage Rolls.

Now why? Why the sudden onslaught of veggie meals?

Okay a few reasons, first-is it really cheaper to cook this way? I'll find out this afternoon I guess. Truth be told, I couldn't tell you what a can of beans cost, I never REALLY pay attention. Second (my poor hubby)- while I am pregnant and getting round' round the middle is relatively okay, I am not the only one getting round...if you know what I am saying. So I am hoping that this low calorie (but hopefully still fulfilling meals> will help. Third-I am bored, bored, bored of what we normally eat and I can hardly get the oomph to get up and cook most nights.

Plus...doesn't it sound kind of fun?

I am not going to make a big deal out of the lack of meat, in fact, I am not going to say a thing...and I am going to watch and see if there is a reaction out of him.

Stay-tuned this week...

BTW: I do really love my husband, I swear this isn't punishment for something! But you are thinking the same thing as me...can I pull it off without him knowing? Can YOU pull it off without your hubby or significant other knowing???

Saturday, April 28, 2012

When She Calls My Name

I can hear her at the bottom of the stairs, she's babbling away at me.

"Do you want your Momma?" I hear her Dad say.

Then the baby gate unlocks and I hear her banging her way up the stairs.

"Momma" she calls, then her face breaks out into a big smile "Hiyyeee".

And my heart melts-there is something amazing about when she calls my name.

Friday, April 27, 2012

Letters to Great Grandma

I love technology.

Okay, well I love technology that works. Like everyone else, I too get frustrated when things don't work, have weird quirks, or don't quite work the way I want them to.

There really is something to be said though for sitting down with a piece of paper and a pen and just-writing.

My Grandma and Grandpa, Jay's Great Grandparents, lives fairly 'off the grid'. They live about 40 minutes outside of a small 3500 pop. community. They don't have running hot water, they run off of solar panels and a generator for power, and they only have a satellite phone. Yes, at my grandparents home, the outhouse is the the preferred method for the washroom, because while they do have (recently) an indoor bathroom of sorts, it's not like the bathrooms most of us Canadians are accustomed to.

So, email is out, picking up the phone is not as easy as you might think, so instead-we write letters.

Now I'll admit, I am not the best at getting them out efficiently. Life just has the way of making a "I'll sit down and write this evening'' into a bigger deal than it has to be, but truth be told...it really isn't that much more complicated then sending out an email-just less convenient.

There is something about getting a handwritten letter in the mail though that just warms the heart.

So today, I sat down, and Jay sat down with me, we 'talked' (as much as you can with a 15 month old) about the things we wanted to tell Great Grandma and Grandpa and I wondered---will she ever do this when she is older?

Kids are a product of their environment for sure, so I suppose modeling this kind of 'behavior' might mean that Jay will become a closet enthusiast for letter writing in it's simplest form-but perhaps not.

What happened to the good old pen pal? Will she never have one like I had growing up? Most likely not. Writing, communicating has taken up entirely different forms as the years tick by. The question is, will the good ol' letter die?

I hope not, so despite the fact that I already cleaned up one coloring mess today, I pulled out some paper and let her 'write' with me...every child may not get to experience letter writing as I have, but my daughter will hopefully at least get a taste-while writing to Great Grandma.

Thursday, April 26, 2012

Out of milk.

Milk really is the essence of life when you have a baby or toddler.

This morning I came down with the intention of sqeaking out the last bit of milk from the jug to sustain my lil' one over breakfast. Go figure, it's the one morning where she just can't get enough.

It's heartbreaking, watching your toddler stand at the fridge door hoping for you to open and refill her cup.

Water-it just wouldn't cut it.

It was one of those morning that I wished I was still breastfeeding her.

So we got dressed and I took her to the grocery store...had I been smart I would have packed her milk cup because sure enough, we got to the milk aisle and she went nuts! I put the jug in the cart, last stop-bananas and I spent the entire aisle between milk and produce trying to keep her sitting as she tried to crawl into the cart with the milk jug.

It was terribly cute, and terribly heart-wrenching.

The smile on her face when she finally got a full cup-bliss!

How many things we take for granted in a day...if only we too could have the same expression on our face when given the simplest of things...like milk.



Wednesday, April 25, 2012

~NOMINATE US~

The ultimate Spare Change Scavengers...nominate us!

You could win $1,000 just for nominating!

http://www.beremarkable.com/pbr/nominate?id=119

I guess this means that I haven't quite kicked the habit have I? Maybe this is the last one...that we'll actually win!

Dollar$ and $en$e: When what you are doing isn't working...

My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years...that's 6 years of habits that are fairly engrained in the both of us.

Since we have been together I have been primarily responsible for the finances. Which some people find amusing since he he is the one with the Math degree.

So why did I do it? I love working with numbers. I love making the numbers balance out at the end of the month. I also happen to be a 'fixer', I love being able to work, and rework things to make them right again. (Oh yeah, and I am slightly controlling.) The only thing is, our financial situation is a lot different than it used to be-our life is a lot different.

When we first got together my husband had just started his degree in education and I was the one working. It made sense for me to be the one to do the finances...

Now, he's the one working, I am at a home with our daughter, and it is surprising how little he understands about how I have been doing the finances despite how much we do talk about where we are at.

Okay, so time to assess.

Who does the finances in the home? Has it always been this way?

I strongly believe that both people need to be involved in the finances and money making/spending decisions. However, it most cases one person is usually the one 'in charge' of the nitty-gritty of it all.

Is that still working?

My gut reaction is 'yes', I know what I am doing, and where I need to get our finaces. When I really step back though, I'm stressed. Out of the two of us I am by fair the most emotional person, and finances is about emotional as it can get. Working the finances stressed me out, not because the process is tough, but because we have so much debt and it just won't go away!

Does it make sense to change?

This is where the anxiety starts, I've always done the finances. But 'yes', it does make sense to change, the stress that the nitty-gritty causes me just might not be worth fulfilling my need to be in control.

So we are changing it up. Sometimes that's what you have to do when what you are doing isn't working anymore.

My husband is now in charge of the nitty gritty.

Now that doesn't mean that I am totally hands off, but it means that I need to find a way to let go, be involved where it makes sense and trust my husband to do what I was doing---maybe even better.

So your turn. Where are you at? Does it make sense? Is it time for a change?

Then do it. Give yourselves at least 6 months of making the change before you revert back (I'll let you know how that goes).

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Hitting the wall...and an anniversary of sorts

Sometimes you hit a wall.

You hit the worst of it-hard.

Then what?

Flight or fight. That's what they say. Sometimes it's a bit of both. Yesterday was my wall. 'Our' wall.

It hurt, hitting it as hard as I did.

And yet, today I am better for it...now just looking for a way to climb over the wall.

Luckily there seems to be many a people, waiting to get me up and over. Waiting to get 'us' up and over.

On a completely un-related note, that just happens to be taking place at the same time, today is a year anniversary of sorts. One year since I joined up on this site called winfreestuff.ca to see if I was "lucky", a year after putting myself in for (literally) hundreds of contests-I haven't won anything! Not a car, not a free vacation, not even for a basket of cosmetics. As it turns out, I do not have any 'luck'. So today, I am closing down my account, and letting that go. Letting it go, with the other things in my life that I have to let go of in order to make room for other things... I am trying not to draw a relationship between my personal downward spiral and my inability to win anything-even a cheap basket of goodies...any yet...I kind of just did didn't I?

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Making dreams come true

As you may have noticed, as of late it's been misery and, well more misery.

Today, despite my feelings, I woke up determined to do at least one good thing for me.

Just moments ago, I proofread (for the 100th time) another article for submission in Island Parent and then sent it off.

It has always been a dream of mine, to become a published author, and this is one great step forward, even if they choose not to publish my work.

It's about doing something that pushes me out of my comfort zone. It's about doing something that excites and terrifies me all at the same time.

This is where it starts. It starts with articles, it moves on to the the plethora of children's book ideas that I have, and one day, it will be my novels-sent off into the world.

Now, having accomplished that one thing, I feel re-charged. In 40 minutes I will be outside with daughter in tow, and friends at hand, working on the neighbourhood park. My house may not be completely clean, the laundry not done. Yet-I will have accomplished more today perhaps then the past few days...and all because I started with following through with a dream.

Saturday, April 21, 2012

Cracking a smile

It's a Saturday and I am having a hard time motivating myself to be happy this morning.

Correction-nearly afternoon.

There are so many things that I could enjoy...

My backyard for one, I have a few plants to plant.

The sun, even a walk would do.

The carnival is in town and it will be my daughter's first time going.

Possible dinner party with friends.

I should just be enjoying the small break I have now while my daughter is sleeping...

And yet...this is how I am feeling...


Hahaha...I cracked a smile-did you?

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

2 days later...

Wondering where I am at?

Not much has changed.

I have planned a neat little photoshoot idea to do with my daughter before selling my wedding dress.

I talked to my bank and have cashed in my RRSP's to help get rid of some of our debt. It wasn't much, but right now every little bit helps-so I'll take it.

I am wavering between returning to work at the school or bringing kids in as drop-in's until I am really too pregnant to do anything more...but the idea of leaving my daughter right now is a huge pill to swallow and I just don't know if it would make the difference financially.

So it's lots of mental and emotional stress, which carries itself through everything else...

I'm hoping for a miracle of sorts.

Don't we all when our backs are against the wall?

Realistically though, we just have to dig our way out of this-with a toothpick.

I'm just trying to hold it together enough so that my little girl doesn't start feeling the effects of this all.

Monday, April 16, 2012

Dollar$ and $en$e: We are drowning in debt

We are drowning in debt.

And it's so depressing.

We tried to cut back and live on cash, we don't go out all that often, cancelled any and all plans for travelling unnecessarily...and guess what...?!

Stuff still ends up on VISA, and the debt is going no where!

It's so depressing, to sit down and review the past few months and realize that despite your best intentions-what you are doing just isn't working anymore.

We're starting to look at anything else we can cut back (and trust me-there isn't much), we are looking at cashing in the few savings (RRSP's) we do have to pay off the debt (and trust me-there isn't much, especially after those fees)...oh yes, and I am dragging out my wedding dress and letting that go to the highest bidder.

Yet, it hardly feels like it's going to do anything-why?!

We are just under a whopping 60K in consumer debt and it has been growing-not shrinking. Which is frustrating because we don't have a lavish lifestyle by any means. That number by the way, doesn't include our 88K mortgage. Now that is the scariest thing of all...we owe 68% of our mortgage amount---on CONSUMER DEBT! YUCK.

We could have 1+ 2/3 of our home with the debt we have incurred.

Those of you who don't have debt-bravo.
Those of you acquiring-STOP NOW before you get where we are.

I sat at the kitchen table and bawled my eyes out after looking at the numbers-in red. Being almost 7 months pregnant doesn't help, because while the obvious thing would be to go and make more money, we are talking about putting my 15 month old in daycare and my working for...maybe 2 months?!

My reality...after losing the RRSP's, the wedding dress, the few 'frills' we have less, I am now looking at losing time with my children well before my year of (unpaid) maternity.

If I could have done it all over again, I would have-in a heart beat. Don't make the same mistake and leave it until you hit rock bottom-because rock bottom, it hurts.

Friday, April 13, 2012

Too tired

Too tired to function.

Can anyone hear me?

I need at least 2-3 hours more sleep.

I'm-hardly-able--to---keep----my-----eyes-----open.

But baby's got to eat. Dishes have to get washed. Laundry needs to be put through and folded. Phone calls have to be returned.

Too tired to function.

Yet here I am-barely.

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Dirty Girl

I cringe as she places the mud filled bucket on her head.

That's right-on her head.

My daughter loves being outside. We are often out there 2-3 times a day, for a walk, to play in the park across the street, or just outside in the backyard.

It keeps me from getting much done in the house to be sure, but well before we had kids, we always talked about how kids don't know how to play outside anymore, how all they want to do is be inside...we were determined before she was even born that we would do everything we could to avoid that.

So this morning, overcast, a little chilly (therefor well bundled) we went to play in the backyard.

She gets so proud of herself, when she has a pile of rocks stacked up, or transfers dirt without spilling (much) from one bucket to another...and a huge grin pronounces itself when she gets the pile of dirt onto her head.

My instinct--"please don't get dirty!" I don't let myself go there.

After an hour we come in, and she plays in the bath while I tidy up the dirt trail from the back door to the bathroom...

I wonder if we'll be doing a repeat performance this afternoon?!

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

What do I do all day?

I wake up, shower (by myself because I dragged myself out of bed before my hubby had to go work). It was a 'wear the hair up' day-thank goodness because she was up and ready to go.

We eat breakfast. Lucky me-Daddy, who was up earlier, made her oatmeal to go with her banana.

So we eat.

We read a few books.

We go upstairs and get dressed.

I decide that I am going to have an easy day, just putz around, tidy up...

She goes to the front closet (which I didn't check to see if it was closed) and took out her jacket and shoes and brought them to me.

Talk about guilt trip!

So we walked to the hardware store (just for the sake of walking somewhere) to check out plants. We even managed to stop in and see her Daddy!

We get home, and luckily its nap time!

I sit down for a small snack and then-her Dad is home for lunch. And I precede to whoop his butt on some Mario Kart. Hey, just because I have a kid doesn't mean I still can't play like one.

He goes back to work, I get about 15 minutes through a show and some down time and 'you know who' is up.

So we eat PB&J sandwiches...which are a total mess by the way-but really cute to watch her eat.

Then as I am tidying up she comes to me with one shoe on-on the right foot, and beaming ear to ear. You have to reward her for her efforts--how could I say 'no'?

So I decided that now is as good a time as any to drop off some letters to the neighbours about a park clean-up on Earth Day that I am arranging.

Half way through we started getting stalked by this little dog, so we call animal control...this dog is always on the loose, has had a few near misses with the car, and I just didn't feel comfortable with him stalking my child. Hope the owners aren't totally pissed-but at the same time-put your dog on a leash! A lead! In a fenced yard! Anything!

Then we continue on, meet a few new neighbours. Just as we finish up my daughter gets it in her head that she wants to play in the park. It's now raining, and I am tired, my arms are tired from carrying her...

I had to take her kicking and screaming poor thing-I really think she could spend all day out there.

So its 3:30pm.

4 1/2 hours to bedtime.

10 bucks says she gets her Dad to take her out when he gets home...at least it will give me some time to clean I suppose.