I have many beliefs when it comes to parenting...I think all of us do. Although, I think we don't truly have a grasp of what that belief is until challenged on the home front as I was today.
Today there were two that really got a workout.
The first being that a child (unless there is a medical reason) will not starve themselves. They will eventually eat-when they are hungry.
We are survival-of-the-fittest, instinctively, after all.
The other is that: it is never too late to change the dynamics/discipline style (or lack-of)/relationship/habits with your child (or that you have created for your child). But, it does get a whole lot tougher the longer you leave it, and can often require outside help if really left too long.
Now, my daughter has a sweet tooth. She comes by it honestly because we do often (guiltily) have sweets kicking around...but it seems as of late with lots of visiting, and the absolutely adorable way in which she now can baby sign for 'more' food, she seems to have gotten out of control. Between the baby cookies, the sweetened yogurt, the honey nut Cheerios (her favorite) and the cookies and sweets she mooches off of us during the day...its out of hand. This morning when I put her in her chair for lunch with a perfectly scrumptious pasta with chicken meal-she refused, and I realized we'd created a monster.
Her eating habits are a by-product of our own creation.
While, yes, some kids are certainly pickier than others, what a parent does can absolutely influence the child.
So we took a stand, we decided that she was going to eat what we gave her-and nothing else. No milk to fill her up (but plenty of water) and no sweets.
We made the food easily available, putting her in her chair every 30 minutes or so. Offering her pasta, broccoli, beans, chicken, peas, avocado.
She went on a food strike.
Every hour that ticked by added to our anxiety, and her frustration.
Frustration that led to tears.
When your child is bawling, and you know the one thing that would make her happy is sitting in your cupboard---it is so tempting to cave.
Then my hubby turned to me and said "did we create this?"
I knew we had, and I knew that if we gave in now, bawling child or not, that this was going to be a battle that we'd fight for a long time.
So we kept each other from totally going crazy...
HOURS LATER...
She was almost in complete hysterics. Hungry, refusing everything we put in front of her.
A LITTLE WHILE LONGER...
We caved...kind of..so she didn't eat the pasta (maybe she really didn't like it) but her Dad made her fresh scrambled eggs with cheese---and she ate so fast, shoving her little hand so far in her mouth that I had to laugh (mostly in relief).
This isn't over. She is settled in bed tonight, and tomorrow we'll have to start over again, no sweets until we can teach her that she needs to eat 'real' food first.
As for my thoughts...The first being that a child (unless there is a medical reason) will not starve themselves. They will eventually eat-when they are hungry. I still hold true to this, but it is likely that you will try 100 different foods so that they eat sooner rather than later.
Second, it is never too late to change the dynamics/discipline style (or lack-of)/relationship/habits with your child (or that you have created for your child). But, it does get a whole lot tougher the longer you leave it, and can often require outside help if really left too long. I have never felt more strongly...I love my daughter, and I'd do this over and over again, for as long as it takes, if that is what is best for her...and I'd rather do it now then when she is 16!
Today there were two that really got a workout.
The first being that a child (unless there is a medical reason) will not starve themselves. They will eventually eat-when they are hungry.
We are survival-of-the-fittest, instinctively, after all.
The other is that: it is never too late to change the dynamics/discipline style (or lack-of)/relationship/habits with your child (or that you have created for your child). But, it does get a whole lot tougher the longer you leave it, and can often require outside help if really left too long.
Now, my daughter has a sweet tooth. She comes by it honestly because we do often (guiltily) have sweets kicking around...but it seems as of late with lots of visiting, and the absolutely adorable way in which she now can baby sign for 'more' food, she seems to have gotten out of control. Between the baby cookies, the sweetened yogurt, the honey nut Cheerios (her favorite) and the cookies and sweets she mooches off of us during the day...its out of hand. This morning when I put her in her chair for lunch with a perfectly scrumptious pasta with chicken meal-she refused, and I realized we'd created a monster.
Her eating habits are a by-product of our own creation.
While, yes, some kids are certainly pickier than others, what a parent does can absolutely influence the child.
So we took a stand, we decided that she was going to eat what we gave her-and nothing else. No milk to fill her up (but plenty of water) and no sweets.
We made the food easily available, putting her in her chair every 30 minutes or so. Offering her pasta, broccoli, beans, chicken, peas, avocado.
She went on a food strike.
Every hour that ticked by added to our anxiety, and her frustration.
Frustration that led to tears.
When your child is bawling, and you know the one thing that would make her happy is sitting in your cupboard---it is so tempting to cave.
Then my hubby turned to me and said "did we create this?"
I knew we had, and I knew that if we gave in now, bawling child or not, that this was going to be a battle that we'd fight for a long time.
So we kept each other from totally going crazy...
HOURS LATER...
She was almost in complete hysterics. Hungry, refusing everything we put in front of her.
A LITTLE WHILE LONGER...
We caved...kind of..so she didn't eat the pasta (maybe she really didn't like it) but her Dad made her fresh scrambled eggs with cheese---and she ate so fast, shoving her little hand so far in her mouth that I had to laugh (mostly in relief).
This isn't over. She is settled in bed tonight, and tomorrow we'll have to start over again, no sweets until we can teach her that she needs to eat 'real' food first.
As for my thoughts...The first being that a child (unless there is a medical reason) will not starve themselves. They will eventually eat-when they are hungry. I still hold true to this, but it is likely that you will try 100 different foods so that they eat sooner rather than later.
Second, it is never too late to change the dynamics/discipline style (or lack-of)/relationship/habits with your child (or that you have created for your child). But, it does get a whole lot tougher the longer you leave it, and can often require outside help if really left too long. I have never felt more strongly...I love my daughter, and I'd do this over and over again, for as long as it takes, if that is what is best for her...and I'd rather do it now then when she is 16!
