Beyond the Crib

Buying our first home before Jay was a year old was a big step. It was also one of the best investments we've made thus far...

I could not wait to get my hands on her room. I had always wanted a really funky room when I was growing up, and so I wanted to make sure that Jay's first room in our first room was perfect. Of course, I was also already pregnant and aware that Jay and baby would be sharing a room, so it would have to be gender neutral enough to get both of them in there-regardless of what the sex was.

I remember doing the finishing touches on this room, on Jay's big girl bed and thinking to myself "hard to believe that in a few months she actually be sleeping in this bed!"

So those months went by a little fast.

It was getting to that point where we needed to start getting her comfortable with the idea of sleeping in her toddler bed instead of the crib.

I think she was ready, my hubby was ready...and me? Well, truth be told, I found it really hard. I knew that she was going to be totally fine...but it was hard making the switch because it was one big way of letting go of the last little 'baby' thing and welcoming the world of toddlers.

I am in no rush for my daughter to grow up too fast. With baby #2 and her being so close, I am also conscience of not wanting her to be 'pushed' to grow up before she is ready. 

She'll never go back to the crib now-it has been a week and she loves her big girl bed. I'm also okay now too. I'm well aware that holding your child back hinders rather than helps...

This post is to all those Mom's and Dad's out there that have struggled with the little ways that remind us that our babies just aren't 'babies' anymore...I totally get it, and I am here to tell you, that it's going to be okay.

It's also totally okay to have a hard time with it, as long as you don't let that take away from the positives of the situation.

We are beyond the crib, just as we were beyond the boob, and one day we will be beyond the diapers...I wonder if I will be upset over that one? 

What a day...

I have many beliefs when it comes to parenting...I think all of us do. Although, I think we don't truly have a grasp of what that belief is until challenged on the home front as I was today.

Today there were two that really got a workout.

The first being that a child (unless there is a medical reason) will not starve themselves. They will eventually eat-when they are hungry.

We are survival-of-the-fittest, instinctively, after all.

The other is that: it is never too late to change the dynamics/discipline style (or lack-of)/relationship/habits with your child (or that you have created for your child). But, it does get a whole lot tougher the longer you leave it, and can often require outside help if really left too long.

Now, my daughter has a sweet tooth. She comes by it honestly because we do often (guiltily) have sweets kicking around...but it seems as of late with lots of visiting, and the absolutely adorable way in which she now can baby sign for 'more' food, she seems to have gotten out of control. Between the baby cookies, the sweetened yogurt, the honey nut Cheerios (her favorite) and the cookies and sweets she mooches off of us during the day...its out of hand. This morning when I put her in her chair for lunch with a perfectly scrumptious pasta with chicken meal-she refused, and I realized we'd created a monster.

Her eating habits are a by-product of our own creation.

While, yes, some kids are certainly pickier than others, what a parent does can absolutely influence the child.

So we took a stand, we decided that she was going to eat what we gave her-and nothing else. No milk to fill her up (but plenty of water) and no sweets.

We made the food easily available, putting her in her chair every 30 minutes or so. Offering her pasta, broccoli, beans, chicken, peas, avocado.

She went on a food strike.

Every hour that ticked by added to our anxiety, and her frustration.

Frustration that led to tears.

When your child is bawling, and you know the one thing that would make her happy is sitting in your cupboard---it is so tempting to cave.

Then my hubby turned to me and said "did we create this?"

I knew we had, and I knew that if we gave in now, bawling child or not, that this was going to be a battle that we'd fight for a long time.

So we kept each other from totally going crazy...

HOURS LATER...

She was almost in complete hysterics. Hungry, refusing everything we put in front of her.

A LITTLE WHILE LONGER...

We caved...kind of..so she didn't eat the pasta (maybe she really didn't like it) but her Dad made her fresh scrambled eggs with cheese---and she ate so fast, shoving her little hand so far in her mouth that I had to laugh (mostly in relief).

This isn't over. She is settled in bed tonight, and tomorrow we'll have to start over again, no sweets until we can teach her that she needs to eat 'real' food first.

As for my thoughts...The first being that a child (unless there is a medical reason) will not starve themselves. They will eventually eat-when they are hungry. I still hold true to this, but it is likely that you will try 100 different foods so that they eat sooner rather than later.

Second, it is never too late to change the dynamics/discipline style (or lack-of)/relationship/habits with your child (or that you have created for your child). But, it does get a whole lot tougher the longer you leave it, and can often require outside help if really left too long. I have never felt more strongly...I love my daughter, and I'd do this over and over again, for as long as it takes, if that is what is best for her...and I'd rather do it now then when she is 16!

Don't blame the teachers for your lack of parenting...

As wife of a teacher, and having worked in the school system as a First Nations Support Worker, I certainly have thoughts regarding the upcoming strike.

I think most people have thoughts one way or another.

I am choosing not to use this forum as a way to discuss or sway one way or another.

However, I did want to make a comment on something I heard on CBC this morning that had me beyond irate...that had less to do with teachers walking, and more to do with parenting.

George Abott apparently had interviews with parents who came out of the wood work saying things to the affect of "we just found out that my child will not be graduating this year with their peers because they failed a class" .

This is the argument put forth to encourage the government to legislate the teachers back to work.

Parents: You do not get to to blame the teacher strike, or job action from September for your poor parenting skills! If you are not involved in your child's education, and taking the necessary steps to ensure their success---that's on YOU! It's YOUR child---YOU NEED TO PARENT.

Teachers are still tracking marks and grades, they just aren't being sent home. As a parent-it is your responsibility to have those discussions with your children, and their teachers to ensure they are on track. No teacher is going to deny you or your child their grades.

In fact, after talking to a few teachers, they have stated that this job action has been a blessing for that very reason, that parents HAVE to be more involved and can't just wait until they get a piece of paper in the mail that indicates where their child is at.