Dollar$ and $en$e: When what you are doing isn't working...

My husband and I have been together for almost 6 years...that's 6 years of habits that are fairly engrained in the both of us.

Since we have been together I have been primarily responsible for the finances. Which some people find amusing since he he is the one with the Math degree.

So why did I do it? I love working with numbers. I love making the numbers balance out at the end of the month. I also happen to be a 'fixer', I love being able to work, and rework things to make them right again. (Oh yeah, and I am slightly controlling.) The only thing is, our financial situation is a lot different than it used to be-our life is a lot different.

When we first got together my husband had just started his degree in education and I was the one working. It made sense for me to be the one to do the finances...

Now, he's the one working, I am at a home with our daughter, and it is surprising how little he understands about how I have been doing the finances despite how much we do talk about where we are at.

Okay, so time to assess.

Who does the finances in the home? Has it always been this way?

I strongly believe that both people need to be involved in the finances and money making/spending decisions. However, it most cases one person is usually the one 'in charge' of the nitty-gritty of it all.

Is that still working?

My gut reaction is 'yes', I know what I am doing, and where I need to get our finaces. When I really step back though, I'm stressed. Out of the two of us I am by fair the most emotional person, and finances is about emotional as it can get. Working the finances stressed me out, not because the process is tough, but because we have so much debt and it just won't go away!

Does it make sense to change?

This is where the anxiety starts, I've always done the finances. But 'yes', it does make sense to change, the stress that the nitty-gritty causes me just might not be worth fulfilling my need to be in control.

So we are changing it up. Sometimes that's what you have to do when what you are doing isn't working anymore.

My husband is now in charge of the nitty gritty.

Now that doesn't mean that I am totally hands off, but it means that I need to find a way to let go, be involved where it makes sense and trust my husband to do what I was doing---maybe even better.

So your turn. Where are you at? Does it make sense? Is it time for a change?

Then do it. Give yourselves at least 6 months of making the change before you revert back (I'll let you know how that goes).

Dollar$ and $en$e: We are drowning in debt

We are drowning in debt.

And it's so depressing.

We tried to cut back and live on cash, we don't go out all that often, cancelled any and all plans for travelling unnecessarily...and guess what...?!

Stuff still ends up on VISA, and the debt is going no where!

It's so depressing, to sit down and review the past few months and realize that despite your best intentions-what you are doing just isn't working anymore.

We're starting to look at anything else we can cut back (and trust me-there isn't much), we are looking at cashing in the few savings (RRSP's) we do have to pay off the debt (and trust me-there isn't much, especially after those fees)...oh yes, and I am dragging out my wedding dress and letting that go to the highest bidder.

Yet, it hardly feels like it's going to do anything-why?!

We are just under a whopping 60K in consumer debt and it has been growing-not shrinking. Which is frustrating because we don't have a lavish lifestyle by any means. That number by the way, doesn't include our 88K mortgage. Now that is the scariest thing of all...we owe 68% of our mortgage amount---on CONSUMER DEBT! YUCK.

We could have 1+ 2/3 of our home with the debt we have incurred.

Those of you who don't have debt-bravo.
Those of you acquiring-STOP NOW before you get where we are.

I sat at the kitchen table and bawled my eyes out after looking at the numbers-in red. Being almost 7 months pregnant doesn't help, because while the obvious thing would be to go and make more money, we are talking about putting my 15 month old in daycare and my working for...maybe 2 months?!

My reality...after losing the RRSP's, the wedding dress, the few 'frills' we have less, I am now looking at losing time with my children well before my year of (unpaid) maternity.

If I could have done it all over again, I would have-in a heart beat. Don't make the same mistake and leave it until you hit rock bottom-because rock bottom, it hurts.