I'm pregnant...not sick!

I'm a hardworker.

If I am going to do something, I am going to do it right...and no, I am not going to kill myself doing it.

I do hate the attitude, the looks, the comments, that you can get as a pregnant woman working.

It can be doing anything, working out, moving furniture, work a labour intensive job...and you just know that someone has an opinion about whether or not you are capable of doing it...whether or not it is "good for the baby".

I'm pregnant. I am not sick. I know my body, and yes, sometimes I can overdo---just like every other person out there.

Now I am not advocating for women to not take care of themselves, but come one people, we are capable of so much more than you give us credit for sometimes.

So quite judging, if you are concerned about something I'm doing, offer to help, don't try to make me feel guilty about doing what I need to do to get stuff done.

Oh yeah, and by the way, on top of caring my pregnancy weight around, I also happen to carry my 25lb toddler around. Everyday. Day in, day out...oh yeah, and that weight isn't getting any lighter as I get bigger; which means that unless you are weight training everyday, I could probably outlift you!

In the words of Beyonce we women are "Strong enough to bear the children.Then get back to business."

Playgroup Mamma

I guess it's just better to let well enough alone...

But I have a question...

If your at a public playgroup and another child comes and rips away the toy your child is playing with, and the parent is right there-saying nothing...what do you do?

I started off by saying to the child "oh hon, can you please give that back to Jayna, she'll share when she is finished"...the child's response, "no way" as she ran away. The parents response--nadda, zip, zilch!

I wanted to turn around and say..."do you mind?!"

I left it alone...

I was awfully frustrated.

What is the right thing to do in this situation?

Small town shopping

I didn't have much to do...

Pick up 1/2 dozen things for Easter gifts, a birthday present for our babysitter and 1/2 dozen items at the grocery store.

But I live in a small town...

For those of you who live in a big center, you will hardly come upon this...you go to the mall, you shop, you hardly make any eye contact at all. You refrain from anything other than quick pleasentries with the cashier. Then you go home.

On the rare occasion that you run into someone you know, you wave or nod, and continue on. Knowing that both you and the other party has a list a mile long, limited time to do it, and it takes forever to get from point A to point B.

Here, it is not the case.

We run into one of our friends, and we decide to hit the first store together, taking twice as long to pick up a few things while we talk about their new home purchase (exciting), how her little boy is one already (scary how quick it went) and how her sisters are doing. Then as we break off from her and her son, Jay and I run into my old neighbor, who can't believe how big Jay has gotten. We chat, and 5 minutes later continue on.  Of course, we run into a few people in the grocery store in the milk section, by the banana's and once more by the bread. Then we chat with one of our regular cashiers, talk about my due date and how I am managing with Jay, a new home, and everything that goes with life in its naturally hectic state. Then we head to the drugstore and chat to a lady who loves Jay's red hair and is excited for her first grandbaby due in May. Then we chat with the cashier, who knows our babysitter, and 10 minutes later we are still chatting about the difficulties of finding a babysitter, and when you find one, how important it is to latch on to them...and if 'only they wouldn't grow up, move away, get better paying jobs'.

In total, the actual shopping probably only took me 10 minutes.

We were at the mall for 1 1/2 hours...

And I loved it.

Yes, it can take a ridiculous amount of time to do the must mundane of tasks...but I feel so connected to my community, my home...there is a security in knowing that when I am out, I know the people whom I talk to. Their families, friends, I know whose advice to get for what, and whose to avoid.

It took me an hour and half...and I came home, not flustered or frustrated, but happy that I had them time it takes to connect to the outside world.

Youtube: I'm Pregnant and I know it! Parody

I needed a good laugh this morning, and I got one.

I also love a reason to celebrate pregnancy.

So please enjoy this video...

I'm PREGNANT and I know it! Youtube Video

Moving Momz: Try Something New

For most of us, we think 'exercise' and an image of sweat dripping down our faces, and backs (and other places that we won't name) while during workout X (which is usually something we totally dread) comes to mind.

It's hard to want to workout when that is what first comes to mind.

So try something new.

I went with a friend of mine to a bellydancing class last night for the first time.

I went, not with the attitude of "I'm going to get my sweat on!" but instead "I'm going to try sonething new and have fun!"

I totally did, have fun, and get my sweat on.

At the time though, I was not thinking about it. My focus was on learning the new moves, and trying not to look like a total dork while doing it.

The attitude I went in with, pushed me through the point where I my arms were starting to burn.

I don't know how many calories I burned...and I don't really care. I got to spend the evening with a friend, having fun...instead of sitting on my rear watching who-knows-what.

It was fabulous. So give it a try. Pick some new activity to try, grab a friend, and go for the fun.

Whatever you get on top of that--is just the cherry!

Speak up, speak out...

I realize that I may be watching Dr. Phil a little too often...

It's my "Jay's sleeping and I am going to listen to something while I _____".

However this week has been an important week. Something that I feel everyone should be talking about.

The topic has been: End the Silence on Domestic Violence.

It's one of those things, that no one wants to talk about, admit, or come clean about. The destruction that comes from domestic violence though is so far reaching, it reaches not just the spouses or common-law partners, or other family members, but it touches the lives of the children raised in that environment.

It's the children I worry most for. Once raised in that environment, it becomes a learned behavior, a learned truth in their lives. The likely-hood of the repeating that cycle is strong. Children are so innocent, a clean slate, upon which we as parents, write the begining of their truths...unfortunately, not all of us have the ability to write the path we hope most for them.

As Dr. Phil says..."the only thing worse than living in a bad situation for 100 days, is being in a bad situation for 101 days".

If you are, or know someone, whom is a victim of domestic abuse, go to this link now.

Speak up, Speak Out...break the cycle, break the silence.

Building a family...

It's not just the person we decide to spend the rest of our lives with.

It's not just the children we bear and raise.

It's not just the parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, grandparents that surround us with their love and support.

It's also the friends, the people that we choose to have in our lives, that build our families strong.

It is our friends that support us, listen to us, laugh with us, cry with us. It's those friends who understand where we are at and can offer comfort. It's those friends who you can also in turn support when needed.

Living away from immediate family has been difficult for us. There are days where living in this town, in this place, is next to unbearable because the loneliness sets in. It's all I can feel.

That loneliness, ironically, has kept me from reaching out to those around me in the past. Has kept me from growing my roots...

But, it is then that we need to reach out to those around us.

It is then that we need to build the bonds between our friends, build the support around our families, and to be thankful for the people that do become a part of our family.

Families come in all shapes and sizes...so enjoy and love your family---no matter how that family is pieced together.

Imagination

Sometimes I think we lose that ability as adults...

...to take a simple object and turn it into something...anything...

Today, Jay had a colander.

Sorry, I mean a hat.

She loved it.

At 14 months, she was so proud to put it on her head, and take it off again.

Shortly after that it became a basket to carry her little toys.

Then, as it flipped over on the floor, it became a seat.

Then she was off to the next thing...

Imagination.

When was the last time you took something, and did something else with it---just for fun?

I hope karma does exist...

They just moved.

Our new neighbors....and great friends of ours.

They found out today that while we may make good neighbors...the people next door not so much.

I was over there, and there music was blaring.

So I offered to go over. Let them know that the music was loud, and we could hear it not only from there place, but mine as well.

The response?

"I've lived here longer"

Me: "There still needs to be some respect for those living around you, we can hear the music next door, and at my place, and I don't want this to become a big deal and have to involve the police"

Him: "I don't have to put up with this shit"

Then he preceded to slam the door.

Yeah...

Then he turned the music back up.

So we called the cops.

Then they had the audacity to fight with the lovely police officer-doing his job.

Karma will come back to bite him right?!

I sure hope so.

SuperMom Exists!

She does-I swear it.


The mother that...

...straps her 2 year old child on her back and her 6 week old her to her front and goes for a walk.
...wakes up in the middle of the night to calm and comfort her sick child, while sick herself.
...fights for hours to get her child to eat, and finds that food that finally hits the spot.
...manages to have a shower-with the kids in the house, and no one to give her a break.
...made dinner for her significant other, on top of everything she did that day.
...did the grocery shopping with an over-tired child.
...made her self eat her veggies and fruit, because her unborn child needs it, even if she neither craves it nor wants it (or can keep it down with ease).


SuperMom exists in many a form.

She exists in all of us.

She is You!

SuperMom's kryptonite?

Only her failure to take care of herself.

So all you Mom's out there...make sure that at the end of the day you take those few moments to reflect on what you have accomplished---raising your beautiful child(ren). Then put your feet up, have a bath, a glass of wine, read your favorite book, watch your favorite movie---do something that makes you feel as great as you make everyone else feel during the day.

Moving Momz: Fruit vs. Veggies

I love my fruit.

I am pretty sure that I ate about 4 cups of strawberries yesterday, that doesn't include the grapes and blackberries that I also ate. (Expensive taste-I know...)

When it comes to veggies though...well, there was celery and green pepper in the chilli we had, but that was about it.

I blame it on my sweet tooth.

Veggies aren't nearly as appealing as ripened, sweet fruit.

Canada's Health Food Guide for my age is 8 servings of fruit and veggies.

Key word being: and.

So, this is my challenge, and I am encouraging you to try it to.

I am going to try and eat 1/2 and 1/2. If you also have a fruit love, veggie indifferent attitude as I do, give it a try...

At the very least, being conscious of the amount of veggies you eat (or don't) should help you become more aware when given the option to choose between the two...

Maybe even help you lose a few pounds? (Or like me, keep me from gaining to much during pregnancy.)

GOOD LUCK!

What a day...

I have many beliefs when it comes to parenting...I think all of us do. Although, I think we don't truly have a grasp of what that belief is until challenged on the home front as I was today.

Today there were two that really got a workout.

The first being that a child (unless there is a medical reason) will not starve themselves. They will eventually eat-when they are hungry.

We are survival-of-the-fittest, instinctively, after all.

The other is that: it is never too late to change the dynamics/discipline style (or lack-of)/relationship/habits with your child (or that you have created for your child). But, it does get a whole lot tougher the longer you leave it, and can often require outside help if really left too long.

Now, my daughter has a sweet tooth. She comes by it honestly because we do often (guiltily) have sweets kicking around...but it seems as of late with lots of visiting, and the absolutely adorable way in which she now can baby sign for 'more' food, she seems to have gotten out of control. Between the baby cookies, the sweetened yogurt, the honey nut Cheerios (her favorite) and the cookies and sweets she mooches off of us during the day...its out of hand. This morning when I put her in her chair for lunch with a perfectly scrumptious pasta with chicken meal-she refused, and I realized we'd created a monster.

Her eating habits are a by-product of our own creation.

While, yes, some kids are certainly pickier than others, what a parent does can absolutely influence the child.

So we took a stand, we decided that she was going to eat what we gave her-and nothing else. No milk to fill her up (but plenty of water) and no sweets.

We made the food easily available, putting her in her chair every 30 minutes or so. Offering her pasta, broccoli, beans, chicken, peas, avocado.

She went on a food strike.

Every hour that ticked by added to our anxiety, and her frustration.

Frustration that led to tears.

When your child is bawling, and you know the one thing that would make her happy is sitting in your cupboard---it is so tempting to cave.

Then my hubby turned to me and said "did we create this?"

I knew we had, and I knew that if we gave in now, bawling child or not, that this was going to be a battle that we'd fight for a long time.

So we kept each other from totally going crazy...

HOURS LATER...

She was almost in complete hysterics. Hungry, refusing everything we put in front of her.

A LITTLE WHILE LONGER...

We caved...kind of..so she didn't eat the pasta (maybe she really didn't like it) but her Dad made her fresh scrambled eggs with cheese---and she ate so fast, shoving her little hand so far in her mouth that I had to laugh (mostly in relief).

This isn't over. She is settled in bed tonight, and tomorrow we'll have to start over again, no sweets until we can teach her that she needs to eat 'real' food first.

As for my thoughts...The first being that a child (unless there is a medical reason) will not starve themselves. They will eventually eat-when they are hungry. I still hold true to this, but it is likely that you will try 100 different foods so that they eat sooner rather than later.

Second, it is never too late to change the dynamics/discipline style (or lack-of)/relationship/habits with your child (or that you have created for your child). But, it does get a whole lot tougher the longer you leave it, and can often require outside help if really left too long. I have never felt more strongly...I love my daughter, and I'd do this over and over again, for as long as it takes, if that is what is best for her...and I'd rather do it now then when she is 16!

Blowing kisses...

It's the smallest of milestones that can set a parents heart on fire.

It has been our morning routine, that our daughter goes down with her Daddy to eat, and then we give our kisses at the door and wave goodbye.

Today, our routine was out the window...

We went down late.

Daddy had to go before she was done eating.

So he came to the table, he told her he was going.

She understood.

With a big smile on her face, she waved goodbye in her ackward way, and then, just before he turned to leave, she put her tiny little hand to her mouth, and blew her Daddy a kiss.

It was simply precious.

Dollar$ and $en$e: Can you afford to buy a home? Part II

When we first moved to our little town we started a house hunting search. In the first few months we had seen about 20 homes in every shape and size.

It was overwhelming, and a bit disheartening. You see, we picked an arbitrary number-something we thought we could afford without really looking at the numbers.

To do it over again, we never would have made contact with out realtor until we knew with a certainty what we could afford. (Check out part 1 in my blog, if you haven't done so yet.)

After working through what you are able to afford (and having your savings in place), the next step is to speak to your banker and/or mortgage broker. If you know that you have good/great credit, this step is of course much easier. Do get two bits of advice. The more information you have at hand, the more prepared you will be to negotiate a term that works for you.

Note: There are many types/ways of creatively financing your mortgage. For now, I will be discussing a conventional mortgage process (as this is what I am most familiar with).

So, you hear back from your mortgage broker/banker and you find out that they have approved you for an X amount. (Remember: often it can be more than what you can actually afford in reality.)

Now it is time to start looking at the local market...and begin making your lists.

Lists???

Yes. First you start with your must-haves, better known as the, will not compromise X, list.

For example: location, 3 bedrooms, 1 bathroom, open concept, electric heat, yard, washer/dryer/fridge/stove, new windows, newer roof

Then you make your 'would be nice' list.

Examples: Stainless steel appliances, laundry on main floor (not basement), ensuite bathroom, hardwood floors, dishwasher

Then you make the 'I am comfortable changing X list'. If you are a handy person, then you might be comfortable tackling major reno's, some people do not want to even tackle paint. You need to be honest with what you can manage-and this HAS to be part of your search.

Now with lists in hand, the best place to start is Realtor.ca You can begin by viewing homes in your price range. Remember that homes viewed, doesn't mean that's what you'd pay, it can be more or less depending on the market, length of time it's been up, amount of work it needs done etc;

So if your max budget is 110K, then you should be looking around the 75K-125K price range. With the understanding that the closer you get to your max budget, the less amount of work it should require to meet your standards.

TIP: don't fool yourself into thinking you'll get a 10 out of 10 home. Even if you build your own place there is ALWAYS going to be something you want to change.

Now, with lists in hand...meet with your realtor-FULLY explaining what you are willing to pay and what you are looking for.

We saw far too many homes. It was unnecessary for both us and our realtor.

Now in each home you view, make sure you take your checklist, and take photos. Note anything that you see immediately that you would change.

After your first viewings, take a look at what you have. Try to narrow down the homes that you would like to revisit, based on price, amount of work required etc;

Go back, and REALLY look this time. In the cupboards, in the crawl space, anywhere where you can get access to. Fill in any holes you missed on your first search.

Now for most home buyers, it's a very emotional decision. You either love it, or hate it often enough. No matter the love-you need to do your homework.

In some cases, you might love it, but can't afford the extra 20K to put into it.

So you found the 'perfect' home, and it fits your budget and major expected repairs for first look...alright-it's time to put in an offer.

WOOHOO.

...to be continued...

...remember to seek professional help when purchasing a home for the first time, this is meant to be a guideline or food for thought...

Don't blame the teachers for your lack of parenting...

As wife of a teacher, and having worked in the school system as a First Nations Support Worker, I certainly have thoughts regarding the upcoming strike.

I think most people have thoughts one way or another.

I am choosing not to use this forum as a way to discuss or sway one way or another.

However, I did want to make a comment on something I heard on CBC this morning that had me beyond irate...that had less to do with teachers walking, and more to do with parenting.

George Abott apparently had interviews with parents who came out of the wood work saying things to the affect of "we just found out that my child will not be graduating this year with their peers because they failed a class" .

This is the argument put forth to encourage the government to legislate the teachers back to work.

Parents: You do not get to to blame the teacher strike, or job action from September for your poor parenting skills! If you are not involved in your child's education, and taking the necessary steps to ensure their success---that's on YOU! It's YOUR child---YOU NEED TO PARENT.

Teachers are still tracking marks and grades, they just aren't being sent home. As a parent-it is your responsibility to have those discussions with your children, and their teachers to ensure they are on track. No teacher is going to deny you or your child their grades.

In fact, after talking to a few teachers, they have stated that this job action has been a blessing for that very reason, that parents HAVE to be more involved and can't just wait until they get a piece of paper in the mail that indicates where their child is at.

...the vote is in...

....87% have it...

The teachers will be going on strike starting Monday; for what, so far, appears to be until Wednesday.

Now, I certainly have my thoughts regarding this...but for a change, I'd like to leave the floor open to you.

Whether you are a parent, teacher, T.A, or observing citizen-what are your thoughts?