Recalling a conversation I had with an coworker of mine, I remember how frustrated I was. You see, I was telling her that I was looking forward to being at home with my (future) kids until they are all in school. She was shocked, she didn't understand what I would "do" for 6+ years while my kids were at home.
I felt so taken aback, and immediately started defending my decision to stay home and raise my kids.
Then it hit me...
Hold the phone...
When did being a mom not cut it anymore?
Women's Lib.
Meant to free us from the "have-to's".
We wanted the right to work, equally, alongside men. We wanted to be able to take care of our families in other ways.
Women's lib has given us much...but in some ways, I think it has failed women.
You see, I think the fight was about CHOICES. It seems now a days, the word 'choice' has disappeared.
Whether it is pressure from ourselves, our spouses, our friends, coworkers, boss...we women have forgotten that women's lib was about choice.
So STOP.
Stop trying to be the perfect wife, lover, friend, mother, homemaker, employee among the thousands of other things you try to do.
Just because women's lib has come and conquered doesn't mean that now, on top of all those things that women did before, we must also do everything else. It isn't healthy for our sanity, nor our families. Trying to do everything, it isn't possible. Something will lose out in the end.
So take a step back: Feeling like you have to do everything? Well stop. What is important to you? When you are at your death bed, what are you going to wish you did more of? Now do that. You now have a choice, choose it.
Let the other stuff go.
For those of you who might let it 'slip' that your spouse isn't doing 'everything'...remember that we can't do everything. Either can you. Either are you.
There is no way to make your cake, clean the house, play with your kids, look like a supermodel, be the perfect employee, have great sex, have time for yourself...then eat your cake too!
Instead of 'women's lib' think of it as "a person's right to choose". That is something worth fighting for.
To those women and parents who are doing it alone and don't have the choice, I commend you. Let it be a reminder to those of us that can; there are people who would love the choices we have. Don't take them for granted.
I felt so taken aback, and immediately started defending my decision to stay home and raise my kids.
Then it hit me...
Hold the phone...
When did being a mom not cut it anymore?
Women's Lib.
Meant to free us from the "have-to's".
We wanted the right to work, equally, alongside men. We wanted to be able to take care of our families in other ways.
Women's lib has given us much...but in some ways, I think it has failed women.
You see, I think the fight was about CHOICES. It seems now a days, the word 'choice' has disappeared.
Whether it is pressure from ourselves, our spouses, our friends, coworkers, boss...we women have forgotten that women's lib was about choice.
So STOP.
Stop trying to be the perfect wife, lover, friend, mother, homemaker, employee among the thousands of other things you try to do.
Just because women's lib has come and conquered doesn't mean that now, on top of all those things that women did before, we must also do everything else. It isn't healthy for our sanity, nor our families. Trying to do everything, it isn't possible. Something will lose out in the end.
So take a step back: Feeling like you have to do everything? Well stop. What is important to you? When you are at your death bed, what are you going to wish you did more of? Now do that. You now have a choice, choose it.
Let the other stuff go.
For those of you who might let it 'slip' that your spouse isn't doing 'everything'...remember that we can't do everything. Either can you. Either are you.
There is no way to make your cake, clean the house, play with your kids, look like a supermodel, be the perfect employee, have great sex, have time for yourself...then eat your cake too!
Instead of 'women's lib' think of it as "a person's right to choose". That is something worth fighting for.
To those women and parents who are doing it alone and don't have the choice, I commend you. Let it be a reminder to those of us that can; there are people who would love the choices we have. Don't take them for granted.
Someone down here that I know has actually created a business centred around the idea that women need to have a chance to step back from this massive "quest for perfection" that thins us out until we no longer exist as individuals. Her company, called Wise Woman, is all about getting women together for retreat-like weekends, and hugely emphasizes the importance of connecting with other women, because we NEED that too.
ReplyDeleteWell said my girl! I love you!!!! :)
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